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Our friends with a woman, a person who's overcome many hardships, and I respect her for that. Yet, she's often caught off guard by people. Her husband walked away, which came as a massive blow. A lot of close acquaintances disappeared at that point, since they had been only interested in her husband. It shocked her. She made greater energy in our friendship, likely understood more acutely what friendship was.

The Pattern of Disappearance

Over the years, many close to her vanished leaving her certain of the reason. Her previous job suddenly changed toward her, although she was an excellent employee, she departed without knowing why things shifted.

Current Dynamics

In recent times, we've both retired and are seeing each other more, but I am finding my position in our friendship is as the audience. I introduce subjects only for her to redirect them to what interests her. In terms of politics, she has firm beliefs. My effort is to recommend double-checking information or other angles.

She is organizing a holiday to a country I've visited many times and resided in for a while. I tried to offer personal experiences, however, my input unappreciated. She purely only wanted validation of her choices. I've just ended 30 days in that country she is eager to reconnect, but I don't.

Weighing the Options

I don't want in this role who abandons suddenly abruptly, yet I doubt she will ever comprehend the consequences of how she acts on how I feel about myself. At this point, I am in avoidance mode. How should I proceed?

Possible Paths

You could end things abruptly, however, that approach is rarely the peaceful resolution that we desire. However, addressing it with a view to resolution takes courage and readiness from both people.

Therapists recommend using a effective method for resolving disputes:

"Initially involves describing how things go during your discussions. Aim for this to be objective and clear and essentially an unbiased account. Next is to express her how it makes you feel. This allows for no dispute about this. What you feel belong to you, after all. The third step involves requesting how you are both will alter the pattern of your friendship."

Consider that she also has her own side, thus requiring you to be prepared to hear that. An approach that works is telling her:

"It's your turn to speak and I'm going to listen without interrupting for a set time."

It's remarkably impactful for promoting understanding.

Closing Considerations

This person could ignore everything, for those who cling to a “survival narrative”: they maintain a version of their life they won't abandon as it feels essential depends upon it and it's all they trust. This poses a challenge when there seems no easy route in such cases, mere obstacles. But she may start out like this then consider about what you've said. And even if a resolution isn't found a resolution, it provides closure from having been honest with her.